Saturday, February 7, 2009

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Almost Home


Well our adventure in Australia is coming to a close. I went back and read my original blog about my fears for the trip, and I can't help smiling. It worked out just how I wanted it to. Comparing what i was freaking out about, what Kent was worried about and what actually happened is good times.

I was worried about money and places to stay and all the deadly deadly things. While i jumped anytime i heard something in a bush or tree, all of those things worked out so well. Not only did i go scuba diving, thanks to a persistent Kent i went cage diving with Great Whites! I got a job almost immediately and made so many fantastic friends. The months FLEW by. As I sit here at LAX again, in the same exact spot i did 6 months ago, i can remember my panic and excitement. The nervousness that most people get when they are starting something that they know will change their lives somehow. And it most certainly has. I feel like i have confirmed the confidence that i always had, that if i want to do something i can, and i will do it well. I left Australia completely content in my experience. For Kent i think he got to prove himself to a few doubters, as well as himself. It was great as an individual experience as well as couple experience. For example, i will never ever get in a two person kayak with Kent again, this is something that almost ended in murder, we know our limitations :-) My mind has been in a whirlwind the last couple of days. I've been scrambling to remember as much detail as possible, every sunset at the harbor, saturday nights at the apartment, Monday movie night, how cold the water was on our shark dive, sitting on a boat on the ocean, morning tea while staring out balcony at Sydney, the CRAPPY theme songs on the trains. These are things i never want to forget.

Thank you to all the people that supported us and all the amazing people we met who made Australia fantastic

Monday, November 26, 2007

quick explanation

Just to answer those who did not understand the Kilojoules reference, i would like to explain what that is. In Australia, and from what i hear most other countries, on food/drink they also have something listed as kilojoules. this is besides sugar, caffeine, and carbs... as kent enjoys sugary sweets, he eats things with loads of kilojoules. i can only assume the obvious, and that this measures that actual amount of energy that can be produced from such items, so when he says "kilojoules" it refers to a running gag between the two of us when he was on the train and eating lots of candy and i thought his head was going to explode when he was stuck in one spot. this also became annoying when one is trying to sleep....

Sunday, November 25, 2007

ok so I just saw a naked irish man next door and am kind of disturbed,

it was weird really there was knocking then I went to the door then there was a naked irish man, then two french men came home. seriously weird night.

I wrote this on the bus from Coffs Harbor to Sydney. The reason I post these is for FEEDBACK so please feel free to FEEDBACK. Danielle says it's my best work, personally I think it's pretty weak, I think that it holds a special place in her heart because it's

A) the only story I've written where she doesn't die.
B) hits home for her.

I think my best work is the first one, the second one is finish just not posted and then I have a third story posted that I think is my weakest work. Tell me what you think PLEASE! whether through email or just commenting on the board cause I always at least check.

*****

“Kilojoules?” He said

“No, no more of that PLEASE!” she said, more annoyed than she’d ever been.

“Bug? BUG!? PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” he started to get more and more annoying the more he talked.

“JUST LET ME SLEEP!”

“You don’t have to yell I’m just playing, I’ll let you sleep” He apologized, feeling rather bad.

“Bug?” he said once again.

“WHAT!?” she screamed just loud enough so the neighbors couldn’t hear.

“I’m sorry” he apologized once again.

“Just leeet me SLEEP!” she whined.

“I’ll just go into the other room, sleep well.” He said even more apologetically.

Half an hour later she was finally able to drift off to sleep.

BANG BANG BANG, came a annoying loud noise from the other room.

“What the hell is he doing” she said dozily not entirely sure if she had actually heard him banging on something in the other room but the buses rarrlte as he tried to type these sentences didn’t make the sentence typing any easier. “What are you doing?” she asked incredibly annoyed.

“I donno, just playing I guess.” He said.

“playing what?”

“I donno……… hit the table……with a hammer?” he asked although it really wasn’t a question, he had in fact been hitting a table with a hammer.

“can you do ANYTHING, quietly?” she asked, even though it really wasn’t a question that she expected an answer too.

“not really”

“could you TRY!?” she exclaimed.

“Well maybe if you paid a little more attention to me I WOULDN’T HAVE to be so loud”

“I can’t possibly pay anymore attention to you, unless I give up sleeping”

“We have coffee.” He said a little exasperated.

“are you actually advising, that I give up sleeping, so I can pay MORE attention to you?” she asked

This conversation seemed to go on forever, neither side gaining much ground but voices definitely started rising as they always did when they had this conversation. Eventually she hit the table with the palm of her hand, not intentionally knocking the hammer into the air, and hitting him right between the eyes, with the claw end. He dropped like a stone to the floor.

“Oh god…..Josh are you ok?” she asked but he just continued to lie their, like a big lump of coal. “Well, at least you’re being quiet …... hahaha.” she laughed nervously not entirely sure how coup with the situation at hand. “Ok, keep a clear head.” She told herself as she reached down one more time just to see if he was ok. “Josh, how are you feeling?” she pushed his one side until his body slowly rolled over. Just then she finally realized, that the claw hammer hadn’t just hit his face, it had stuck to his face, and when he fell pierced through his skull and collapsed most of his face.

“Oh god” she screamed as she slowly began to sob. What could she do, she thought to herself. Everyone on the block could of heard the argument by the end of it, and there was no WAY the police would believe a hammer had ACCIDENTLY killed him when it had completely destroyed his face, and the neighbors had heard the fight. So they’ve been fighting all night, and she accidentally hit a hammer that he had been playing games with into his face, which then he fell onto claw end first and it pierced his face. That wasn’t even REMOTELY believable, never would anyone happen to believe that. SHE didn’t even believe it, I mean in all her years this is really the most UNLIKELY thing that had ever happened to her.

Just then it occurred to her what she had to do. Removing the hammer from between his eyes, she then used it to remove every single one of josh’s beautiful teeth. His smile had been absolutely perfect, if she was caught she’d go straight to prison for ruining the national treasure that was this man’s smile. Next, going to the cabinet she fetched the bleach, and used it to burn off his finger prints, wrapped him in a bed sheet and began to drag him to the elevator.

“Oh god” she had said to herself, it was at least two miles to the harbor from their apartment she had no idea how she could get there. Hailing a cab, was the best way, she could pretend it was luggage, hopefully the cab driver was to dense to really understand she was bringing her dead boyfriend to the harbor hopefully the current would take him out to sea and one of the thousands of deadly things in these waters would take care of him for her.

“Where to mam?” the taxi driver asked.

“Oh the Harbor please!” she said as the sweat poured profusely down her face.

“At this time of night? The driver asked.

“Yeah gotta get this package down there before 4am, or I’m in deep shit.” She explained.

“Really? What’s in it?” the cab driver asked AGAIN.

“uhhhh, cabbages! Lots and lots of cabbages.” She said as she desperately searched for words.

“Really? What for?” the cab driver asked yet again.

“ummmm, the homeless?” she said starting to think she should of thought this through before getting in the cab.

“Why is it so important to get these too them by 4am? I mean with all due respect they’ll still be homeless in the morning.” He asked yet again.

Why couldn’t I have gotten a less chatty cab driver. She thought to herself. “Not these homeless, they’re uhhh getting homes at five, and this is their last chance for free cabbages?” she listened to herself and desperately trying to stop the onslaught of her verbal diarrhea.

“Well I guess that makes sense. Why are these cabbages bleeding?”

“ummm uh you’ve heard that old adage, you can’t squeeze blood from a stone? Well for months now I’ve been trying to prove you can. I started small with apples and moved to grapefruit I’ve finally managed to get cabbage to bleed next up? Who knows?” her voice cracked as she spoke each word.

“WOW! Really you’ve managed to make cabbages bleed? How did you do that?”

“A hammer!” it was the first true comment she has said in the last half hour.

“WOW! What an age we live in. Well that will be twenty two fifty, unless you’re willing to part with one of your amazing bleeding cabbages.” He eyed her eagerly then glanced to her wrapped boyfriend.

“No that’s ok” she handed him thirty dollars “keep the change” her voice continued to crack with each syllable.

“Wow thanks!”

There was no way that worked she thought to her self. That was even less believable than the actual story, and that wasn’t even close to believable. She dragged the body to the closest wharf tied some rocks to it, and threw her bleeding cabbage into the harbor, then began her long walk home.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Tan?...I didn't think I could do that....

Yes, it is true, I am tan. Well by my standards. When you see me you think, oh thats only a little bit of color, but then i show you the tan lines and you realize how freaking white i normally am, and you think i am black. Crazy. It only took spending hours outside in the australian sun to get what little i've gotten. oh well, i will take it!

besides my tan, things have been going great. Money is low, but that means we've been having a good time and that what this trip is all about. At the moment we are in Byron Bay, more gorgeous beaches and LOADS of backpackers. I think the tour on Fraser Island got us a bit more social and we met some cool aussies last night over Coronas and James Boag (one of the 3 aussie beers kent enjoys). Ladies i think i found the aussie men you requested. all engineers, but aussie so they have tans and while slightly dorky, still hot....sorry kent, they were. two are in the reserves, one as a contractor (aka, mercenary), they other as something else, i forget. but anywho, i will try to get them to come to the states with me so i can distribute them accordingly. Kent is now giving me the evil eye but, he has no room to talk :-)

This is Kent standing up very shortly after his first try on his surfing lesson. YEAH!! I was so proud, he didn't even think that he would be able to get up, and after 10 minutes he was catching his own waves! This was in Surfers Paradise, where oddly, most people don't surf. You can take lessons and its a good place for beginners, but the surfers say its too touristy and busy. I thought it was great. While i was laying on the beach i got to watch a Doberman puppy attempt to go in the water for its first time. his owner would put him near the surf and as soon as the water would come up, he would run away. SOOO cute.


umm, i will also post a picture of a tiger cub we saw at the Australian Zoo, but Kent wants to write another installation of what i can only assume will be me getting killed again. most likey by a shark...

******

This is the worst title in the world, I call this one Sunscream!


"Don't worry about it" he said "we're almost there."

"Well it is a little disconcerting when your skin starts to bleed like this" She said point to her chest. Sun bathing for two days in Australia with ABSOLUTELY no sunscreen on is apparently a REALLY bad idea.

"Well that's what you get for not listening to me." He said in his normal smarmy tonality. he had told her several times, to put on sunscreen, but she had constantly told him that she can't burn. what had started as an harmless looking enough burn had in fact healed but continued to feel like it was burning. One day while walking, she kept brushing her chest and it had started to bleed. After several days had gotten so bad they were pretty sure there was no skin between the muscle and the air. just then the bus stopped right in front of the hospital.

"Finally" she said keeping a white towel pressed against her chest.

"well we could've taken the ambulance or a taxi, but we're completely out of money." he said chastising her for some reason, even though she was OBVIOUSLY in really bad shape.

"will you just leave it alone" she cried. "I mean I didn't exactly want this to happen."

****

The Emergency room was literally shoulder to shoulder, he had to fight just to get to the window to get the paper work he had to fill out.

"Outta my way, lady with a dead baby" he exclaimed.

finally reaching office, he began to fill out page after page of tedious paper work.

"hope the next time my chest bleeds she fills out MY paper work" he mumbled desperately trying to think if she had ever had sex with someone from Africa . "Why do they even need to know that?"

"Who cares just fill out the damn paper work!" she screamed as if her chest were bleeding or something.

after what only seemed like a few thousand pages of questions about her life, they were finally done.

"Dr. Frank Hobart Jr." he said, "right this way mam."

"can you get me a wheelchair," she asked, "It's getting a little hard for me to walk"

"Not a problem" as he said that two orderlies came up to her with a wheelchair and wheeled her away. all he could do was sit and wait.

several hours passed as he sat there and counted tiles on the ceiling to help him pass the time.

"eight thousand one hundred and eighty two" he said, "eight thousand one hundred and eighty three"

"Excuse me sir?"

He jumped from his seat, "great now I've lost count."

"My name is Dr. Frank Carrington" said a rather attractive man who's teeth seemed to gleam every time he smiled.

"Is every doctor in this hospital named Frank?" he said

"Yes, but that's not important right now." Said Mr. Carrington

"What happened to the other doctor?" he said

"Your girlfriend bit him, she has no pulse or anything to suggest that she's alive, but we're sending her home with you right now." Dr. Carrington said

"that doesn't seem like it's all that good of an idea" he exclaimed.

"Well she's moving and she keeps asking for brains so we think it's best to get her out of here." just then another orderly rolled her up in a wheelchair.

"Hey sweetie, how you feeling" he asked.

"Brains?"

"Ok, we'll work on that," he said "thank you doctor you've been a big help I'm sure." they left the hospital and walked across the street to a cafe.

"maybe they'll have some brains here for you?" they quickly picked out a seat and he began to read the menu.

"Can I help you?" a young man came up to them with a paper and pencil ready to jot down their order.

"Brains?" she said.

"that's odd," said the waiter.

"what's odd?" he asked.

"well we've been getting orders for those all day! they've been so popular in fact we made them our special"

The waiter pulled out a slip of paper, and showed it to the young, incredibly handsome man, who's girlfriend would have no reason to look at other men who are missing their two front teeth. "Hmmm Brains in brain sauce?"

"Yeah, it's just tomato sauce but no one really seems to notice!."


*
*****

More on that later.

KMO

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

CRIKEY!

Today was the Australia zoo, I really enjoyed it. Both informative and fun. For example, women are 10 times less likely to be bitten by snakes than men are, you may be asking yourself why? well according to the guys at the zoo, snakes don't like going into kitchens, it's weird but snakes hate kitchens.

I wonder how snakes feel about pies, I should do some research on that.

really not much to report making the frigging most out of this FREE INTERNET!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Brisbane finally

The trip is almost over, and we've made it all the way to Brisbane, Funds are CRAZY low, but we're still managing a good time. I'm not sure how often, if at all, we'll be able to get back here so it's good to get most of it done now, something to tell my kids when/if I have any.

one good thing about Brisbane is that our Hostel has FREE WIRELESS INTERNET!!!!!!! which is both exciting and a bad thing since it's now 10:05 and i'm online just typing away, but what am I supposed to do my American dollar is worth very little over here and my AUD is slowly slowly going the way of the dodo bird.

Money troubles aside its been a great trip! after Darwin we went to see Uluuru and The Olgas (can't spell the Aboriginal name for that one, it's offensive to call it that but if they want me to be able to spell it they have to make it easier to spell, inconsiderate aboriginals) They were big rocks, but impressive big rocks, sunset is supposed to be really great there, but we had so much cloud cover that it really didn't change the color of the rock like it's supposed to. Not really all that worried about it I got a picture of me touching the top of it, standing right next to it touching the top(the rocks not that big)

There's a guy outside my window talking about how his Mother was in a Nazi concentration camp and fell in love with the guard and was allowed privileges which he then used to cement his case for his mother being a gypsy, interesting story.

After Uluuru we went back to sydney and flew out to Tasmania. We booked a tour that looked good at the time, but after we got on it we were REALLY pissed, and ended up having to go back to a place because our cameras had died, but that place had a baby wombat and they're like 3rd or 4th on my list of the worlds cute things.

1)Gizmo
2) Kracker
3) Baby Sea-lions
4) Baby Wombats

I think that list is pretty solid, I DARE anyone to come up with better list. but our camera had died and we needed to get pictures of a Tasmanian Devil for barb, which are pretty cute animals in themselves. Then I started talking to a Kangaroo, which was weird since I may or may not have eaten his brother, and every time I asked a question it would shake its head and answer, danielle tried to video tape it, but that didn't work out because like every other bizarre situation in this world once you try to record it they STOP DOING IT!!!! stupid hyper-intelligent kangaroo. We tried to extend our stay in Tazzy because it is ABSOLUTELY beautiful down there, but it would've cost 204 AUD to extend ONE DAY!!!!! stupid airlines and their not letting me do things for free rules. I missed the part of the trip I really wanted to go on as a result, we would have taken a 4 hour boat ride from Port Arthur to Pirates Cove on the southern end, and we'd already done MOST of what was on that trip, but i really wanted to see the Tazzy coastline, it's supposed to be great.

back to Syd then the next day we flew up to Hervey bay where we IMMEDIATELY booked a trip for Fraser Island than watched TV and played Chess for 2 days since the Fraser Island tour took up roughly 1/3rd of our remaining funds.

The CoolDingo tour was REALLY great though first day we went all around to these Basin Lakes that are made out of sand and water and the water is crystal clear and the sand is white.(notice most lakes have some degree of sand/water combo) there's something about rotting vegetation and trees zapping nutrients but whenever I try to explain this Danielle corrects me so I'm not going to try. Most of this trip was just swimming at random basin lakes, and creeks etc, but we got sunburns and had a really great time, meet two english people, a welsh girl and a big group of Norwegians who we hung out with on the last day and even into the evening back on the mainland. Our tour guide Mike was a really great guy, hung out with us, went swimming feed us so much damn food we could probably not eat for the rest of our time here and still be using the fat from our Fraser island trip.

after that we took a bus to brisbane and slept most of the way. That'll get you upto date. I wish I had another story for everyone, but really the last one was a lot more spontaneous and now I can't get started. Also if I write a new one and it's not as good oh the pressure. I might try to write another one tomorrow but who knows. I got so much positive feed back from the last one that I really want to do it again.

Love
-KMO