ok so I just saw a naked irish man next door and am kind of disturbed,

it was weird really there was knocking then I went to the door then there was a naked irish man, then two french men came home. seriously weird night.

I wrote this on the bus from Coffs Harbor to Sydney. The reason I post these is for FEEDBACK so please feel free to FEEDBACK. Danielle says it's my best work, personally I think it's pretty weak, I think that it holds a special place in her heart because it's

A) the only story I've written where she doesn't die.
B) hits home for her.

I think my best work is the first one, the second one is finish just not posted and then I have a third story posted that I think is my weakest work. Tell me what you think PLEASE! whether through email or just commenting on the board cause I always at least check.

*****

“Kilojoules?” He said

“No, no more of that PLEASE!” she said, more annoyed than she’d ever been.

“Bug? BUG!? PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” he started to get more and more annoying the more he talked.

“JUST LET ME SLEEP!”

“You don’t have to yell I’m just playing, I’ll let you sleep” He apologized, feeling rather bad.

“Bug?” he said once again.

“WHAT!?” she screamed just loud enough so the neighbors couldn’t hear.

“I’m sorry” he apologized once again.

“Just leeet me SLEEP!” she whined.

“I’ll just go into the other room, sleep well.” He said even more apologetically.

Half an hour later she was finally able to drift off to sleep.

BANG BANG BANG, came a annoying loud noise from the other room.

“What the hell is he doing” she said dozily not entirely sure if she had actually heard him banging on something in the other room but the buses rarrlte as he tried to type these sentences didn’t make the sentence typing any easier. “What are you doing?” she asked incredibly annoyed.

“I donno, just playing I guess.” He said.

“playing what?”

“I donno……… hit the table……with a hammer?” he asked although it really wasn’t a question, he had in fact been hitting a table with a hammer.

“can you do ANYTHING, quietly?” she asked, even though it really wasn’t a question that she expected an answer too.

“not really”

“could you TRY!?” she exclaimed.

“Well maybe if you paid a little more attention to me I WOULDN’T HAVE to be so loud”

“I can’t possibly pay anymore attention to you, unless I give up sleeping”

“We have coffee.” He said a little exasperated.

“are you actually advising, that I give up sleeping, so I can pay MORE attention to you?” she asked

This conversation seemed to go on forever, neither side gaining much ground but voices definitely started rising as they always did when they had this conversation. Eventually she hit the table with the palm of her hand, not intentionally knocking the hammer into the air, and hitting him right between the eyes, with the claw end. He dropped like a stone to the floor.

“Oh god…..Josh are you ok?” she asked but he just continued to lie their, like a big lump of coal. “Well, at least you’re being quiet …... hahaha.” she laughed nervously not entirely sure how coup with the situation at hand. “Ok, keep a clear head.” She told herself as she reached down one more time just to see if he was ok. “Josh, how are you feeling?” she pushed his one side until his body slowly rolled over. Just then she finally realized, that the claw hammer hadn’t just hit his face, it had stuck to his face, and when he fell pierced through his skull and collapsed most of his face.

“Oh god” she screamed as she slowly began to sob. What could she do, she thought to herself. Everyone on the block could of heard the argument by the end of it, and there was no WAY the police would believe a hammer had ACCIDENTLY killed him when it had completely destroyed his face, and the neighbors had heard the fight. So they’ve been fighting all night, and she accidentally hit a hammer that he had been playing games with into his face, which then he fell onto claw end first and it pierced his face. That wasn’t even REMOTELY believable, never would anyone happen to believe that. SHE didn’t even believe it, I mean in all her years this is really the most UNLIKELY thing that had ever happened to her.

Just then it occurred to her what she had to do. Removing the hammer from between his eyes, she then used it to remove every single one of josh’s beautiful teeth. His smile had been absolutely perfect, if she was caught she’d go straight to prison for ruining the national treasure that was this man’s smile. Next, going to the cabinet she fetched the bleach, and used it to burn off his finger prints, wrapped him in a bed sheet and began to drag him to the elevator.

“Oh god” she had said to herself, it was at least two miles to the harbor from their apartment she had no idea how she could get there. Hailing a cab, was the best way, she could pretend it was luggage, hopefully the cab driver was to dense to really understand she was bringing her dead boyfriend to the harbor hopefully the current would take him out to sea and one of the thousands of deadly things in these waters would take care of him for her.

“Where to mam?” the taxi driver asked.

“Oh the Harbor please!” she said as the sweat poured profusely down her face.

“At this time of night? The driver asked.

“Yeah gotta get this package down there before 4am, or I’m in deep shit.” She explained.

“Really? What’s in it?” the cab driver asked AGAIN.

“uhhhh, cabbages! Lots and lots of cabbages.” She said as she desperately searched for words.

“Really? What for?” the cab driver asked yet again.

“ummmm, the homeless?” she said starting to think she should of thought this through before getting in the cab.

“Why is it so important to get these too them by 4am? I mean with all due respect they’ll still be homeless in the morning.” He asked yet again.

Why couldn’t I have gotten a less chatty cab driver. She thought to herself. “Not these homeless, they’re uhhh getting homes at five, and this is their last chance for free cabbages?” she listened to herself and desperately trying to stop the onslaught of her verbal diarrhea.

“Well I guess that makes sense. Why are these cabbages bleeding?”

“ummm uh you’ve heard that old adage, you can’t squeeze blood from a stone? Well for months now I’ve been trying to prove you can. I started small with apples and moved to grapefruit I’ve finally managed to get cabbage to bleed next up? Who knows?” her voice cracked as she spoke each word.

“WOW! Really you’ve managed to make cabbages bleed? How did you do that?”

“A hammer!” it was the first true comment she has said in the last half hour.

“WOW! What an age we live in. Well that will be twenty two fifty, unless you’re willing to part with one of your amazing bleeding cabbages.” He eyed her eagerly then glanced to her wrapped boyfriend.

“No that’s ok” she handed him thirty dollars “keep the change” her voice continued to crack with each syllable.

“Wow thanks!”

There was no way that worked she thought to her self. That was even less believable than the actual story, and that wasn’t even close to believable. She dragged the body to the closest wharf tied some rocks to it, and threw her bleeding cabbage into the harbor, then began her long walk home.